+!(FROM in bots) &&
+tolower($0) ~ /\<cloud\>/ {
+ _cmd = "shuf clouds.txt"
+ _cmd | getline _cloud
+ close(_cmd)
+ say(_cloud)
+}
+
+/^headshot [Cc]hristmas/ {
+ say(".load Christmas")
+ say(".jingle")
+ say(".unload Christmas")
+}
+
+FROM == "rhnoise" && $2 == "slaps" && $3 == NICK {
+ say(".spin")
+}
+
+/^[Aa]nd now[.,]/ {
+ say("And now...");
+ say("THE LARCH");
+}
+
+# God damn commands
+FROM == "rhnoise" && load_mod {
+ say(".load " load_mod)
+ say("rhnoise: You slag!")
+}
+// {
+ load_mod = ""
+}
+(TO == "rhnoise" && /^load \w+/) ||
+(DST == "#rhniose" && /^\.load [a-z]\w+/) {
+ gsub(/[^a-zA-Z0-9_]/, " ")
+ load_mod = toupper(substr($2,1,1)) substr($2,2);
+}
+
+(DST == "#rhnoise" && /^\.line /) {
+ sub(/\./, "!");
+ say($0);
+ say("scalawag: You slag!")
+}
+
+(DST == "#rhnoise" && /^\.qdb 268$/) {
+ say(".diediedie");
+ next
+}
+(DST == "#rhnoise" && /\.qdb *268/) {
+ say(".slap " FROM);
+ next
+}
+
+# Decrementer
+#BEGIN {
+# user_scores[0] = 1
+#}
+#
+#FROM == "rhnoise" && !length(user_scores) {
+# if (split(MSG, _parts, /, /)) {
+# for (_i=1; _i<=length(_parts); _i++) {
+# split(_parts[_i], _tmp, ": ");
+# user_scores[_i]["user"] = _tmp[1];
+# user_scores[_i]["score"] = _tmp[2];
+# }
+# }
+#}
+#
+#FROM == "rhnoise" && /^User Scores:$/ {
+# delete user_scores
+#}
+#
+#AUTH == OWNER && length(user_scores) &&
+#tolower($0) ~ /\<nuclear launch detected\>/ {
+# for (_i=1; _i<=length(user_scores); _i++)
+# say(user_scores[_i]["user"] "--");
+#}
+
+# Misc