10 json_load("var/login.json", login);
11 json_load("var/nounicode.json", nounicode);
12 json_load("var/nocolor.json", nocolor);
14 OWNER = login["owner"];
16 connect(login["server"], \
32 AUTH == OWNER && TO == NICK && /^die in a fire/ {
33 say("Ack, argh, barasdjf..")
37 AUTH == OWNER && TO == NICK && /^reload/ {
42 AUTH == OWNER && TO == NICK && /^rejoin/ {
48 AUTH == OWNER && TO == NICK && /^(join|part)/ {
49 if (match(MSG, /(join|part) +(#+\w+)/, arr)) {
50 if (arr[1] == "join") join(arr[2]);
51 if (arr[1] == "part") part(arr[2]);
56 AUTH == OWNER && TO == NICK && /^\.msg/ {
57 match(MSG, /.*\.msg +(#*\w+) +(.*)/, arr)
58 send("PRIVMSG " arr[1] " :" arr[2])
62 CMD == "KICK" && ARG[2] == NICK {
63 kick_delay = (kick_delay + 2) * 2
64 system("sleep " kick_delay)
66 reply("I feel happy!")
70 FROM ~ /bo+t$|rhnoise/ {
74 CMD == "NICK" && FROM in bots {
82 json_save("var/nounicode.json", nounicode);
86 delete nounicode[FROM]
87 json_save("var/nounicode.json", nounicode);
92 json_save("var/nocolor.json", nocolor);
97 json_save("var/nocolor.json", nocolor);
101 function email(to, from, subj, body, sendmail)
103 from = NICK "<andy@pileus.org>"
104 subj = "Update sfvlug.org!"
105 body = "The next SFVLUG meeting is TBA!"
106 sendmail = "/usr/sbin/sendmail '" to "'"
107 print "To: " to | sendmail
108 print "From: " from | sendmail
109 print "Subject: " subj | sendmail
111 print body | sendmail
112 say("Topic out of date, emailing " to);
116 BEGIN { pollchan = "#sfvlug" }
117 (CMD == "PING" && systime()-lastpoll > 60*60*24) ||
118 (CMD == "PRIVMSG" && /^\.poll/) {
119 if (!TOPICS[pollchan]) {
120 debug("Unknown topic for " pollchan);
121 send("TOPIC " pollchan)
124 _curl = "curl -s http://sfvlug.org/"
125 _day = "(Sun|Mon|Tue|Wed|Thu|Fri|Sat)"
126 _web_tba = "next meeting is: TBA"
127 _web_ptrn = "next meeting.*" _day "\\w+[, ]+([A-Z]\\w+) +([0-9]+)[, ]+([0-9]+)"
128 _irc_ptrn = _day "\\w*[, ]+([A-Z]\\w+) +([0-9]+)"
129 while (_curl | getline _line) {
130 #if (match(_line, _web_tba))
131 # email("Brian <brian@zimage.com>");
132 if (match(_line, _web_ptrn, _parts)) {
133 _date = _parts[1] " " _parts[2] " " _parts[3]
134 _topic = TOPICS[pollchan]
135 sub(_irc_ptrn, _date, _topic)
136 if (_topic != TOPICS[pollchan])
137 topic(pollchan, TOPICS[pollchan] = _topic)
139 debug("topic is already correct")
148 function head(cmd, var) {
153 function uptime(time, fmt) {
154 fmt = "%d:%02d:%02d:%02d"
155 fmt = "%d days %02d:%02d:%02d"
158 time / (60*60 ) % 24,
163 up_version = head("git describe --always --dirty")
164 up_author = head("git log -n1 --format=format:%an")
165 up_message = head("git log -n1 --format=format:%s")
166 up_reload = systime();
169 say("version: " up_version " - " up_author " - " up_message)
173 say("uptime: " uptime(_now - START) ", " \
174 "reload: " uptime(_now - up_reload))
179 _who = $2 ? $2 : FROM
181 say("nick=" USERS[_who]["nick"] " " \
182 "user=" USERS[_who]["user"] " " \
183 "auth=" USERS[_who]["auth"] " " \
184 "real=" USERS[_who]["real"] " " \
185 "host=" USERS[_who]["host"])
187 say("no auth info for " _who)
191 function geoip(ip, dat, cmd, line, parts) {
192 dat = "/usr/share/GeoIP/GeoIPCity.dat"
194 cmd = "geoiplookup -f " dat " " ip
198 if (split(line, parts, /[:,] /) >= 9)
199 return parts[8] "," parts[9] " -- " \
200 parts[6] ", " parts[4] ", " parts[3] " -- " ip
202 return "not found -- " ip
205 /^\.geoip (([0-9a-zA-Z_.-]+) *)*$/ {
206 for (_i=2; _i<=NF; _i++)
211 TO == NICK && /^/ { extra = "" }
212 TO == NICK && /^\.?fortune.*-o/ { extra = "-o" }
213 TO == NICK && /^\.?fortune/ {
214 gsub(/.*\.?fortune *|-[a-z]* *|[^a-zA-Z0-9 ]/, "", MSG)
215 cmd = "fortune " extra " " (MSG ? "-m '" MSG "'" : "-s")
217 while (cmd | getline _fortune && _lines < 5) {
225 /\<[Bb][Oo][Ff][Hh]\>/ {
226 _cmd = "fortune bofh-excuses"
227 _cmd | getline _fortune
228 _cmd | getline _fortune
229 _cmd | getline _fortune
238 morse[".-.-.-" ] = "."
239 morse["--..--" ] = ","
240 morse["..--.." ] = "?"
241 morse[".----." ] = "'"
242 morse["-.-.--" ] = "!"
243 morse["-..-." ] = "/"
244 morse["-.--." ] = "("
245 morse["-.--.-" ] = ")"
246 morse[".-..." ] = "&"
247 morse["---..." ] = ":"
248 morse["-.-.-." ] = ";"
249 morse["-...-" ] = "="
250 morse[".-.-." ] = "+"
251 morse["-....-" ] = "-"
252 morse["..--.-" ] = "_"
253 morse[".-..-." ] = "\""
254 morse["...-..-"] = "$"
255 morse[".--.-." ] = "@"
282 morse["-----" ] = "0"
283 morse[".----" ] = "1"
284 morse["..---" ] = "2"
285 morse["...--" ] = "3"
286 morse["....-" ] = "4"
287 morse["....." ] = "5"
288 morse["-...." ] = "6"
289 morse["--..." ] = "7"
290 morse["---.." ] = "8"
291 morse["----." ] = "9"
295 gsub(/[^.\-\/]/, " ")
297 for (i=2; i<=NF; i++)
299 _str = _str morse[$i]
303 reply("hush it, you pile of bologna")
307 AUTH == OWNER && /^go go gadget woop/ {
309 say(".delay " i " seconds; .woop " i)
313 gsub(/[^Oo]/, "", $1)
320 for (i=1; i<_len; i++)
321 _woop = _woop " " msg
325 TO == NICK && /^[Ww][Oo]+[Pp] *([0-9]*)/ {
337 TO == NICK && DST ~ /^#/ {
342 say(sprintf("Temperature: %4.1f F Humidity: %2d%%",
343 rand()*20+65, rand()*20+40))
351 say("Awk, awk, awk! I'm a bird!")
355 ((TO == NICK && /(help|halp)/) ||
356 /^[^.](help|halp)/) {
357 reply("Nothing can help you now..")
360 /(\<[Hh][Oo]\>.*){3}/ {
361 say("\00309Merry \00304Christmas!")
365 tolower($0) ~ /\<cloud\>/ {
366 _cmd = "shuf clouds.txt"
367 _cmd | getline _cloud
372 /^headshot [Cc]hristmas/ {
373 say(".load Christmas")
375 say(".unload Christmas")
378 FROM == "rhnoise" && $2 == "slaps" && $3 == NICK {
387 /(for what|that for)\?$/ {
388 say("For great justice!");
392 say("And now it's...");
393 say("Springtime for Hitler and Germany!");
397 FROM == "rhnoise" && load_mod {
398 say(".load " load_mod)
399 say("rhnoise: You slag!")
404 (TO == "rhnoise" && /^load \w+/) ||
405 (DST == "#rhniose" && /^\.load [a-z]\w+/) {
406 gsub(/[^a-zA-Z0-9_]/, " ")
407 load_mod = toupper(substr($2,1,1)) substr($2,2);
410 (DST == "#rhnoise" && /^\.line /) {
413 say("scalawag: You slag!")
416 (DST == "#rhnoise" && /^\.qdb 268$/) {
420 (DST == "#rhnoise" && /\.qdb *268/) {
431 /^\.(scores|scoreboard)$/ {
435 FROM == "rhnoise" && !length(user_scores) {
436 if (split(MSG, _parts, /, /)) {
437 for (_i=1; _i<=length(_parts); _i++) {
438 split(_parts[_i], _tmp, ": ");
439 user_scores[_i]["user"] = _tmp[1];
440 user_scores[_i]["score"] = _tmp[2];
445 length(user_scores) &&
446 tolower($0) ~ /\<nuclear launch detected\>/ {
448 for (_i=1; _i<=length(user_scores); _i++) {
449 _user = user_scores[_i]["user"];
450 _score = user_scores[_i]["score"];
451 if (_user in USERS) continue
452 if (_score == 1) { say(_user "--"); _count++; }
453 if (_score == -1) { say(_user "++"); _count++; }
459 say("looks like you're safe.. for now..");
464 DST != "#rhnoise" && /\<[a-zA-Z0-9_]{3,16}(\+\+|--)/ {
465 say("#rhnoise", "(" DST ") " FROM ": " MSG);